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About cabby

  • Rank
    Junior White Namer
  • Birthday 01/12/1984


  • Location
    Charlotte, North Carolina, United States
  • Biography
    I toured the light; so many foreign roads for Emma, forever ago.
  • Interests
    I used to waste away in an office at a computer. Now it's on an airplane at a computer!
  • Occupation
    Director of Information Technology, Neighborhood Assistance Corporation of America
  1. Bob, you win the creativity award. In reality, we did the following: Bonded the 32 T1s into 4 8xT1 (12mbit) circuits at the DEMARC, and installed a switch to VLAN and trunk the connections. From there, we ran 3 redundant cat5 cables the length of the fairground, hopping from building to building every 300 feet to put a switch inside. All outdoor runs were hand-fed through 1/2" PVC pipe to protect it from rain / small animals. When the cable crossed vehicle paths, we put it in yellowjackets (cable/hose protectors that cars can drive over). In all, we had 200 VOIP phones and 500 PC workstations wired up in our convention hall, all of which worked flawlessly, considering how terribly put together it all was. Luckily it only needed to last for the 5 days of the event. I walked the path on the morning after and the PVC has nearly been chewed through by animals in several places. Good times. Anyways, I'm working on this week's episode after two weeks of California madness.
  2. This week's episode may be late, I'm busy working technical miracles here in Sacramento. IT nerds: how do you extend 32 T1 circuits a total distance of 3000 feet through an active fairground? Your limitations are: -the underground wiring is off limits since it runs government data. -You cannot run new underground wire because you have one day to complete the task -You have one day to make it work -You are transmitting sensitive information, WiFi is not an option -Microwave wireless devices are not locally available -Each cable has a maximum length of 325 feet before you get signal degradation and need a repeater
  3. cabby

    The Cablog

    So you remember what I do for a living, right? I mean, it was on my resume, after all. Well part of that job is to travel the world, in search of lost souls that need to be saved. Generally, 30,000 of them at a time. In a convention center. For a very small value of "the world." What you don't know is that I'm also a super hero. But that's another episode. I flew out here to Los Angeles (no plane needed, see above) at the beginning of the week to set up for this convention. The first thing I noticed, obviously, was that the World Cyber Games Expo is in the same center as my show. Of course I had to meander on upstairs and see what was going on. Now, it's obvious they put a lot of effort into this, with a big focus on the gamers themselves. The entire hall was dark, lit only by the glowing monitors and Samsung cell phone advertisements everywhere. Concrete floors, like the foundation of a house, were left bare under our feet. Food vendors proudly served the finest beverages and foods. They really seemed to tap into the nature of these gamers, making the convention hall as much like home as possible. And the games! Oh, such a variety! Why, they must have had at least Counter-Strike 1.5, Dead Or Alive, and Halo Reach there. I can be sure of those three. After spending about an hour in there, those were the only ones I had seen, anyway. But to be fair, my attention was elsewhere. Everywhere elsewhere. In fact, if they had hired any more scantily-clad asian girls it would have looked like my dreams. The active tournament involved some of the newest technology available. On a huge 8 foot wide screen above the crowd, played out between Pirates and the guys who hijacked Harrison Ford's plane. Every bit of the action was brand new, and never before has such an advanced game been used for a live tournament.That is, if you're stuck in 2002. But let's not forget the theme of the event. After all, the lessons learned are what's important, right? Well, judging by where the money comes from, gamers love cell phones and 8 year old games, and would like to love asian girls if they could muster the guts to ask one out. Oh, and the asian chick would also have to admit to speaking English to the dude. The only things missing from the Expo were the words "Get off my plane!" when the Russians lost.
  4. ..that's what she said? Up next, fart jokes. You know what they say about the low hanging fruit: fat people can't jump.
  5. So's, I get ta Los Angeles, yeah? An' I'm walkin around talkin to tha locals. Alla' sudden, a wild cold jumps out in fron'a me! So I do the only sensible thing and I catch it, thinkin I can take it to tha museum an sell it or somethin. Well don'cha know it, nobody wants tha thing. So I'm stuck with it now. On top a that, I gotta work out here, and take care a' this cold I picked up. (If colds were pets) (Also, this story is based on real events, except the real events had better English speaking skills)
  6. cabby

    The Cablog

    This blog is now about my cats. You see, companionship is important in every person's life. Some people surround themselves with strangers every night, others talk to plants, and some rare specimens form disgustingly cute relationships with a single other person, often times leading to a primitive form of cloning. Me? I'm the crazy cat guy. It's true, I may only have two at the moment, but watch out! Those things multiply like asian kids in math class. Fortunately for you, the only one you need to worry about is Mustache. He's a pirate, and not the 2000's kind, either. No, he's the classic one-eyed "give us yer wimmins and gold!" kind. When he's not plundering the high seas he's busy drinking port, like any good sailor. Port, of course, being made from brandy and wine. This blog is now about wine. Now, you're going to have to understand some history here. Before pirates existed, the Brandywine River flowed through the majestic hills of Pennsylvania and brought with it one of the greatest battles of the Revolutionary War. To this day, along the remnants of its shores, you can still hear the swords clanging and samurais shouting over who would ultimately control New Jersey (it was more of a symbolic thing: neither side really wanted New Jersey). The river itself got its name from the large number of yeast mines in Pennsylvania (still the state's largest manufacturing market) which fermented the natural grapes growing along the shorelines, causing the river to flow with wine at the tributaries and age into brandy as the flow continued. During prohibition, the US government decided the Brandywine River was an abomination and sent both houses of congress to consume all of the liquor therein. Shortly thereafter the Revolutionary War came to because the Brandywine River no longer carried the battle, and congress was hence-forth required to be drunk at all times. Later, a specific president took on this responsibility and provided endless (until his term ended) entertainment. At the time, the capitol of the United States was in Philadelphia so it could be closer to the Brandywine. Since it was consumed dry, the capitol was moved closer to West Virginia, where the residents are mostly drunk all the time anyway. Unfortunately, this also moved the capitol south of Pennsylvania and into the South proper. This blog is now about the Mason-Dixon line. It's generally accepted knowledge among genealogical scholars that when looking at a last name, it should be broken down into the root words and each part traced for lineage. To understand why Old Man Mason and His Holiness Sir Dixon fought over the land already invented by Al Gore, you need to trace the lineage of each man. Old Man Mason, as he's called these days, came from a long line of sons of mothers ("ma" and "son", or the son of a mother). He was proud to come from such a long line of women, and wanted to be commemorated by drawing an arbitrary line on a map. The line didn't enclose any area of land, it just kind of stopped. Cartographers called it a conspiracy and dismissed him. His Holiness Sir Dixon, raised in the house of Kaiser and having sworn himself to the teachings of The First Presleyterian Church of Elvis the Divine (UK), was the son of Peter File. Originally named Johnathon Dickinson, he shortened his name as most stage artists do. Unfortunately, due to a large amount of bad press from your local newspaper, His Holiness Sir Dixon was reduced to squabbling over that very same line, which he claimed to draw when making a stand. This blog is now about your local newspaper. Often times, newspapers will have a name which pertains to their locality, manifests the intelligence contained within it's pages, or seems vaguely Latin. Not your local newspaper though, no. Your local paper decided long ago that in order to get as many readers as possible, it had to have the most badass name ever. Now, before you start to ask what that name was, shouldn't you be asking why a newspaper had the sentience necessary to be making decisions? I mean, at that rate it's already clearly smarter than most of North Carolina. But it won't fool you. No, you've already stopped to wonder why a paper-and-ink monster is slowly feeding you information, garnering trust where it can. Waiting until the perfect moment, the time to inject falsehoods under the pretense of "quality local journalism." You know it's there, you've seen it try to slip in lies in the past, perhaps "running a correction" afterward to make it seem innocent. But you know better. You've prepared for something like this. When the time comes, you and I will be the only ones ready to strike. This blog is now about synaesthesia. When was the last time you've bitten into a fresh hot dog and heard the clarity of the flavor? Picked a stone out of a river and smelled the texture? Read a random, rambling blog post and realized that most everything in it was presented in one sense but perceived in another? If you've answered yes to any of the above questions, you may be a candidate for a medical trial to check the potency of a new placebo specially designed for hypochondriacs. And it's totally not a kidney harvesting scam. I promise.
  7. cabby

    The Cablog

    This thread is the new home of your weekly dose of gallows humor. Really nerdy gallows humor. Each Friday you'll see a new episode as a reply. This first post will be reserved to link to the episodes directly. ------ (9/24) Episode 1: FernGully Was A Great Movie (10/1) Episode II: How Babies Are Made
  8. First blog episode (more of an event one witnesses than a post that one reads, really) has been sent to Soko. I fully expect it to get rejected by the editorial staff for poor grammar and spelling.
  9. I think I can stick within those limitations, or at least keep it silly enough so as not to offend anybody. Besides, I'd plan to send you the finished copy before putting it up. I sent Frosty a PM.
  10. Thanks for the member access :-D I may take you up on that offer, Soko, just so I'm not spamming the forums with these posts. I'm sure we all remember how much Draino and Austin were fans of that when I was here the first time around :-P For those who are newer than my former days of posting, here are some of my previous threads. I'm still kind of proud of that last one. EDIT: And I have the perfect idea for the first blog post. It doesn't have to be about video games, right?
  11. Hey, can one of you guys who still has member access (mine got removed during the hiatus) re-post my resume here? That thing was epic.
  12. (adj) irreverent: showing lack of due respect Those of you who remember my time with WMD may remember the pages-long diatribes I would post here. It's probably also the only reason I was allowed to join, since my "front-line engineer" tactics in TF2 were, well, we'll just say that resources were not utilized as well as they could have been. Fortunately for you guys, I haven't stopped writing. Unfortunately I now write silly, irreverent corporate policies and emails which I mostly can't let out to the public. UNTIL NOW. So I present this thread, the one and only of its kind, where I will post <redacted> corporate emails and other random writings for your entertainment. To get you started, here's one I wrote today about how I'm taking email use away from about 500 staff. Don't worry about the why, it'll be explained below. --- Thanks for coming to the meeting, everybody. I trust you all had good travels to get here? Hmm, yes, I see how that could be an awkward situation, what with the moose standing right there as you said it. Well, poor decisions in wording aside, I'd like to welcome everyone to today's meeting. We've got a lot to cover! As you may have heard, we've had some customer service issues. Specifically, some of our customers were told something (sometimes even via email!) by a staff member, and we would have no record of it. You, as our front line to working with our customers, have been getting hit with the brunt of this situation, having to escalate calls when a customer provides an email promising a pony with each <product>. As we all know, <company> does not deal in ponies. Scott, I know this confirmation must be deeply saddening for you, but you'll work through it, because you're a trooper. We've been trying various ways to ensure that all customer communication is logged in the customers' files, but so far they have all been for naught. Now before you get up in arms, I'll be the first to admit that my "write all communications on stone tablets so they can last for thousands of years" idea was a bit short-sighted, especially since they only last that long if they're not dropped. But the past is behind us. Yes, even if we turn around. But to turn this conversation around, let's look to the future! We're now going to require that all customer communication happen from within <contact management system>. This means that emails to the customer will need to be sent from the <contact management system>. After you speak to someone on the phone, you should already be writing a <contact management system> entry about what topics were covered and what the resolution of the call was. In order to ensure this takes place, we're going to disable the use of email for our Phone Representatives. Notifications are being sent through the <company> Portal that pops up on your screen when you log in to your computer. Team leads will form better communication chains with their teams. And above all, no customer communication will be lost, no matter how many stone tablets I may or may not have dropped. This change will take effect on <date>. Thank you all for your time today, I appreciate that you could attend our meeting. <my real name> Director of Information Technology <company> <corporate email address>
  13. cabby

    Regarding tapatalk

    DeadMeat, I'm living it up in Charlotte. Had an address here for one week shy of a year. Frost, my wintendo at home stopped turning on sometime in Spring and I haven't had the time at home to get it working again. Add to that the fact that it needs a reformat/reinstall, plus the fact that right now is the first time this year I'll be at my apartment for almost three weeks in a row, and I don't have much chance of getting back into the game :-( Soco, I missed you guys. And even though I know it's automated, the happy birthday email I got made me smile. Perhaps being around will entice me to buy a gaming laptop to join back in the fun. EDIT: I was going to change my sig, but the new limit is only three lines. I'm so keeping my eleven line gem!
  14. SoCo, you're a jerk. Now I have no excuse not to hang out here again :-P Travel travel travel, my home is a place to store my stuff and if it can't be done from my laptop it probably wasn't important. That's been my life for the past couple of years. I did move to warmer climates though, now down in NC. What have you kids been up to?
  15. Cool guy with shades (newer): MySpace angle (older):