JOHNNY_REB

Make You Laugh Corner II

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An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in

Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him

there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife

a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail

address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he

missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly

preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When

the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor,

let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the

screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Your Loving Husband.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

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See what happened when a dude got a little fed up with his phone company's confusing and convoluted bills. As someone who had to audit my company's telco bills last month, I completely understand (50 phone lines at corporate, plus 6 lines each at 64 sales locations).

1166217802IurSrI6yob_1_1_l.jpg

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See what happened when a dude got a little fed up with his phone company's confusing and convoluted bills. As someone who had to audit my company's telco bills last month, I completely understand (50 phone lines at corporate, plus 6 lines each at 64 sales locations).

1166217802IurSrI6yob_1_1_l.jpg

haha, pretty funny

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Two Proposals Worth Considering. .

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>

>

>

>

> New Gas Plan....Bush wants us to cut the amount of gas we use. The

>best way to stop using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal

>immigrants! That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price

>of gas would have to come down as a result.

>

>

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> New Immigration Plan... Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the

>border. When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the border, hand him

>a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq. Tell him if he wants

>to come to America, then he must serve a tour in the military. Give him a

>soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it. After his tour, he will

>be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country. He will

>also be registered to be taxed and be a legal patriot. This option will

>probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in

>Iraq, and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves. If they

>refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq anyway,! without the canteen, rifle or

>ammo. Problem solved.

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January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print

labels...HELLOOO!...bottles won't fit in printer.

March - Got really excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months....box

said "2 - 4 years"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out.

May- Tried to make Kool-Aid - wrong instructions... 8 cups of water

won't fit into that little packet.

June- Tried to go water skiing - couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stoke swimming competition...learned later, the

other swimmers cheated, they used their arms.

August- Got locked out of my car in a rain storm...car swamped because

soft-top was open.

September- The capital of California is "C", isn't it?

October- Hate M&M's - they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per

pound and I weigh 108 !!!

December - Couldn't dial 911- duh - there's no eleven on the stupid

phone.

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